Pathways & Reflections

If I haven't mentioned it before ( which I'm sure I have) I'm entering into my final semester as an undergrad as we speak. It's completely crazy and slightly scary to think about. I've survived almost three years of university, numerous essays, a dozen or more exams, hundreds of hours sitting in lecture theatres and multiple stressful late nights but I survived.

It's funny to think about how in love with university I have become, that I'm not ready to leave and that I'm planning on doing honour because I was so terrified about starting in the first place. I didn't feel ready to start university, unprepared and totally scared of this new start. And even though the first semester was messy and hard, and a complete learning curve ( it's a rite of passage isn't it?) but as I settled in, found the most amazing friends (ones that really saved me from sinking in a true hatred and fear of university in my opinion), university opened my eyes to some of the most amazing things and I have loved every second of it.

Now, of course, any person including me complains about university when you're in the thick of things, up to your eyes in readings and assignments, feeling as though there is no light at the end of the tunnel. University is not all roses but for me, even during the hard times, I tried to work my butt off and fell deeper in love with learning.

My plan after graduating was to head straight into my teaching certificate, spend another year learning and become a teacher. This would also make me a 22/23-year-old high school teacher which in reality doesn't really fly. Between my ages, height and the fact that I look 16 on a good day, doesn't really mix well when I end up teaching 18-year-old boys.

So I switched up the plan, take a year off; work, nanny, travel. Finally, go to New York and live my dreams and then come back with a bit more life experience under my belt and go into my teaching certificate.

However, plans can evolve a million times until you find the one that fits you and yet again my plans changed this year. There has always been a flicker in the back of my mind since last year about honours, but I became even more encouraged this year by those who surrounded me in the film department and I realised what I truly wanted to do. Honours made so much sense, continue with uni, continue learning something that I really passionate about and on the plus side by furthering my education I benefit my future career.

Now there is one part of my plan that hasn't changed New York

New York is in my very near future, well by near I mean July of next year but it's actually happening. With my 21st coming up I have asked friends and family if they would donate to my travel fund as my gift. I even went into a travel agency and found the Contiki I'm going to do, with dates and everything. With my anxiety, I've decided that the best idea is for me to get settled and familiar through a tour and then spend a few extra days after it finishes back in New York. So I'll start in Boston, hit New York, Philadephia and then Washington D.C before the tour ends and I'll train back to NY to meet up with a friend and watch as many musicals as I possibly can before I leave.

It's kinda terrifying but also exhilarating at the same time that my dreams, ones that I have had for such a long time are actually so close to coming true. Like I'll actually have tickets by the end of this year. Excuse the french but HOLY SHIT!

I wanted to write this post to not only reflect my experience at university as a whole, a time of great discovery, hard work, laughter, struggles, long lasting friendships and inspirational teachers. But also to talk about the idea of plans and how everything will work out eventually how they always should. I've known what I wanted to do with my life for a long time and though my pathway has twisted and turned I ended up finding a timeline that fits perfectly for me.

So if you are tossing up your options, unsure of a big decision or just completely lost, remember its okay, you'll figure out what works for you eventually. It's okay to be scared of the future, it a big thing but it's also an exciting thing.

Finding your own pathway and reflecting on what is going to make you happy and give you fulfillment is important. So go forth and explore, everything will figure itself out.

University was one part of my pathway that completely scared me, I've now conquered it and found my next step, now it's time to reflect and keep travelling.

I hope you have enjoyed this little post today, I just wanted to write a little something about how I've been feeling about all these changes and decisions. I guess I'm becoming a grown-up.

Love Louise xo

"The universe has a plan, I promise"
Keltie Knight